Life, the universe, God – whichever you believe most strongly in, has a knack for messing with our plans. One of the many things in life that can fail miserably at going as planned is love. Someone’s caught your eye, and you find yourself more and more enamoured by him as the days go by. You’ve told all your friends about him and you’re almost sure he feels the same way about you as you do him.
Maybe you’re so giddy with emotion that you don’t think twice before you confess. Maybe you’ve taken weeks to muster up every ounce of courage and have finally decided it’s now or never. Whichever end of the spectrum you exist at, you decided to tell him.
Lo and behold, he tells you he doesn’t feel the same way. This scenario is not something I’d wish upon my worst enemy. You feel your heart stop and your cheeks flush. You feel hurt and stupid and embarrassed.
I’m here to tell you why, even though it feels like your life is ending, getting rejected isn’t the worst thing in the world. Have a little faith – things often occur in the exact way they need to.
You might’ve dodged a bullet…
I know you don’t want to hear it right now, and you’re probably reading this and scoffing my way. Take a second to think about the situation. You might think he’s perfect, that he’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a man and that the two of you are just about as compatible as it gets.
Stop for a moment to realize that you really don’t know much about this man – even if you’re friends with him and you do spend time together. A person can behave very differently when they’re interacting with you on a platonic level, versus on a romantic level. For all you know, the relationship might’ve been something you’d end up hating. There could’ve been more heartbreak than happiness in the long run.
Try to look at it as the universe taking one for the team. This way, future-you wouldn’t have to put up with a misery far greater than being rejected.
It teaches you kindness…
Being on the receiving end of rejection teaches you what it feels like to be rejected. You become painfully aware of how awful it feels to have just come clean – having made yourself more vulnerable than you normally would – only to be shut down.
You’re going to remember how horrible it feels and chances are, you’re not going to want to put someone else in that situation. I’m not suggesting you accept every man who comes your way just ’cause you don’t want to hurt his feelings. I’m saying that you will do your best to be gentle on others if you’re the one doing the rejecting.
Being rejected teaches you the importance of empathy and being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Sometimes, you need to look at a bad situation in a good light – you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the things you can learn along the way.
You build character…
You know how they say things that don’t kill you make you stronger? Yeah. You might feel like your world is ending and that this is possibly the worst thing you’ve ever had to deal with, and you might feel like that for awhile too.
Just remind yourself that at some point, you’re going to realize that you’re doing just fine. Maybe you’ll still be a little embarrassed, but I assure you, you’re going to be okay. You’re going to realize that you survived what you thought was the hardest time of your life. Even if you were being a little dramatic, you’ll be proud of the fact that you were able to pick yourself up – you’ll soon realize that this is a great life skill to have. Think about this the next time you feel like your world is caving in and you’re on the verge of giving up.
It says good things about you…
You took a risk, and that’s a beautiful thing. You didn’t sit around and hope that he’d notice you, and neither did you drive yourself crazy with ‘what ifs’. So no, things didn’t go the way you had hoped, but you put yourself out there. You were able to put your fears and doubts aside and go for what you wanted.
It doesn’t really matter that you got rejected. What matters more is that you know you’re the kind of person who is able to get out there and reach for what they want in life. For that, I applaud you. Don’t allow being rejected to stop you from doing this again. Trust me, it gets easier. You’ll begin to realize that there are a million boys out there, and rejection from one isn’t going to ruin you.
Take away from it…
So, the next time life doesn’t fall the way you were begging it to, don’t for a second think that this is the end of life as you know it. You’re going to do just fine. Life was keeping you free for something better, and good things are often just around the corner – we just need to allow them to happen.
Put some trust in the fact that your life is going the way it should and you are exactly where you need to be. So, stop sulking, put on something nice and get out there!