They always say the best marriages happen when your partner is a couple of things – a lover, a confidant, someone you can laugh with. Essentially, your partner should be your best friend.
Having a best friend who’s a guy has taught me many things. He’s opened my eyes to what I should be looking out for when I eventually decide to tie the knot with someone. He has, in a sense, set the bar for men for me, for when I get serious choosing my future partner.
1. He’s got to be there for me even when he’s mad
Even if you two had a massive argument about something, he shouldn’t just leave you in a lurch if you need him. He’ll still be annoyed, of course, but he should still try to sift through a problem with you if you need his help. You’re going to need someone who’s mature enough to be able to understand that ‘yes, I’m mad at you right now’ but ‘it can wait if you’re dealing with something else’.
There’s nothing worse than facing a huge problem and not being able to run to the one person you’re so comfortable talking to. They do, after all, pretty much know the ins and outs of your life and you as a person. Getting their advice is exactly what you need. You need a partner who’s able to put his own feelings aside for a moment and be there for you. Of course, in saying this, you should also be able to return the favour.
2. You should have the best laughs with one another
I’ve never spent the afternoon with my best friend and not found my sides aching from how much laughing we’ve been doing. Applying this to finding a partner, it’s important to be able to be silly with one another. Life can get pretty stressful, and knowing that you can let loose at the end of the day is an amazing feeling.
Look for someone who isn’t afraid to get stupid with you; someone who’s going to bring out your fun side – even if that side of you can be a little shy.
3. He should be your safe place
You never need to think twice about telling your best friend something, and the same should apply for your boyfriend. Your guy best friend is going to tell it like it is – no sugar-coating, no letting you down easy. I find this is extremely important when it comes to a relationship. You want a man who can tell you you’ve messed up, so you can work on bettering yourself.
I know I can tell my guy best friend absolutely anything and there will not be even the slightest hint of judgement. Instead, I can expect to be told off, and then advised, should he not agree with what I’ve done. Your guy best friend is your judgement-free zone and I believe in looking for the same in a partner.
4. There should be nothing to hide around him
We’re all guilty of being a little insecure at times. Maybe you hate your laugh or you’ve put on a couple of pounds or you can’t eat pasta without getting some of the sauce on your shirt. These little things we find ourselves extra conscious of in front of people, especially in front of people of the opposite sex.
Having a guy best friend has shown me how to just not care so much. While I’m not saying you should be an all out slob, you should be able to feel entirely comfortable with your partner. If you’re in it for the long haul, constantly having to watch out for some of your less attractive habits can be tiring. You want a man who isn’t going to make you uncomfortable for the less than desirable things you do.
5. Being thick-skinned can be a good thing
My guy best friend has taught me that men just aren’t as sensitive as girls. Once, one of my eyebrows were longer than the other, and my best friend frowned at me and asked loudly if the one brow was being an overachiever and trying to connect with my eyeliner. I was embarrassed and annoyed, but I couldn’t stop myself from laughing either.
He’s taught me that sometimes, when guys say these things, they’re not trying to be rude or hurtful – they just don’t know any better when it comes to phrasing. Ultimately, my guy best friend has taught me to take his comments with a pinch of salt.
This is something I need to remind myself of when it comes to my romantic relationships. I’m sure there would be significantly less petty arguments if we could laugh things off with the knowledge that our partners are not intentionally trying to upset us. They just kinda, well, suck at wording things.
All in all, my guy best friend has been there for me through it all. He’s reminded me that there is value in me, even when I felt at my lowest. He’s never failed to be a shoulder to lean on. And he has definitely never failed to make me laugh. I believe these are the simple things that are of extreme importance when it comes to any relationship, especially a romantic one that you wish to see go far.
Make sure you find a best friend in the man you wish to marry – you’re going to spend the rest of your life with him, after all.